I never thought it would be possible to make a show about NOTHING. And when I say nothing I don’t mean like Seinfeld “oh tee hee it’s episodic but nothing happens” compared to this, Seinfeld looks like the greatest paced over arching plot in the history of television. And in this episode even less happens. Because dear god help me, it’s a flashback episode. Yes. We’re at episode 3, and they’re hitting us with a flashback episode. Fan-fucking tastic.

So what’s the name of this episode anyway?

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What the…that’s not a title of an episode, those are fucking TWO RANDOM NOUNS SLAPPED TOGETHER. Even their fucking EPISODE titles are boring as shit. You know what? fuck it. if that’s all it takes, “I” can fucking write episode titles for this show.

pictureojerThere. Now where’s MY fucking paycheck?

Fucking noun episode title swear to god….

Anyway The episode starts off with that camera girl from the first episode reminiscing about how she became friends with the quiet library girl. And before you ask, there’ actually none of the gymnastics girl from the first 2 episodes. I was actually shocked at this. I was hoping for more worrying about her being fat.

…No not really. Because that’s stupid.

So we learn that the camera girl needed to find something to take  picture of for a photo contest. On a train to school she sees library girl (fuck their names)  and immediately knows she wants to take her picture.

I'm gonna stalk a bitch!
I’m gonna stalk a bitch!

So after school she heads over to her and asks her if she can use her as a model. Basically waiting as long for an answer as a “k thanks bye!” she decides she’s going to take pictures of her all the time. and i mean like…stalkerish levels.

See, if you're  teenage girl, stalking is adorable! (disclaimer: no it's not)
See, if you’re teenage girl, stalking is adorable!
(disclaimer: no it’s not)

The librarian girl doesn’t have the heart to tell her no as she seems to love taking her picture so much.

Eventually though, library girl can’t handle the pressure and ends up slapping her camera

Dude. you're ALREADY disturbing other people.
Dude. you’re ALREADY disturbing other people.

She gets a bit sad but they end up going their separate ways. The photographer’s friends tell her that she should get a new model, but she says how the library girl’s the only girl she wants to take pictures of…yeah i find it creepy too.

The photographer girl does end up taking the library girl on what she calls “a date”. (george takei: oh my…”)

She’s there to apologize for taking so many pictures of her. so after she buys her some cake she takes a picture of her. (wtf?) but it’s okay, because the picture came out good.

See how cute you are! now give me the same expression but without your clothes on.
See how cute you are! now give me the same expression but without your clothes on.

And here’s the weird thing. The library girl actually doesn’t mind having her picture taken 40,000 times. She just has no self esteem and thought she wasn’t worth it.

Now that that’s been cleared up the photography girl wins first prize with her as her model. Hoorays!

Apparently in Japan, awards look really fucking boring.
Apparently in Japan, awards look really fucking boring.

End of episode.

Probably the saddest thing about this episode is the fact that I actually for once had stuff to recap. I mean, it was stupid, but at least there was stuff to TALK about. for once, I wasn’t so bored off my ass that I had to stop the episode 3 times. I actually got through this in one sitting.

Dear god help me, this series has lowered my expectations so much that and episode that were part of any other show would be labeled “that boring episode” but because it’s in THIS show it’s actually interesting by comparison.

What the fuck has this show done to me?

On another note, I may have mentioned this in the past, but dear god, I cannot stand these voices. It’s like the director said “hey girls, I want every single one of you to sound out of breath, wispy, and like a slight breeze could kill you. oh. and make sure you whisper all your lines with terrible inflection. k thanks.”

The casting director should have turned you bitches down.
The casting director should have turned YOU bitches down.

Nearly every single character’s voice is interchangable. The only way I can tell them apart is their hair and their gimmick. For example, the photography girl looks nearly identical to the french girl. But one has a camera. So there you go.

The problem is, no one feels REAL in this show. EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER is a fucking dandere or a moekko. (aka ridiculously shy, or content but in a quiet way) there’s no real emotions. I don’t think you CAN have emotions with these voices. It almost seems like this is a parody of this kind of show rather than an actual show. Even scenes where characters SHOULD have emotions, they’re all toned down. And it doesn’t feel real. It has this sort of ethereal quality to it where you’d swear you’re in a dream world. And I have to say, that gets a bit creepy.

Really, I could keep talking about that all day, but i’ll wrap it up by saying this.

I’m so glad SOMETHING happened. It wasn’t amazing, and it was a flashback, but there at least was SOME kind of conflict. Will it win an Emmy? Fuck no, but it doesn’t make me want to punch babies. So…good for you I guess?

Episode 5/10

So...what about that date baby?
So…what about that date baby?

-Hideki