It really is amazing how bad this show is. It’s almost as if this show belongs in a museum to describe how NOT to make a show. It’s mind boggling how ANYONE green lighted this. It fails at every single thing it tries to do. The main characters are overpowered and uninteresting, the plot doesn’t have ANY idea of where it’s going, dear god, it even fails as an ECCHI show. Queen’s Blade might have been ridiculous and stupid, but at least it had BOOBS. This show’s not NOTHING to fall back on. It’s a self indulgent, poorly paced mess. That being said, What the fuck was THIS episode about?
Let’s see…first off, Elen talks to Lourie, thanking her for her help, then immediately telling her to fuck off because Elen is a horrible person. To which Lourie says “Nope, king ordered me to stay here so fuck you.”
After that Tigre and the other people are at a meeting when the old guy says “Hey, remember that prince who died that we mentioned a few times? There’s somebody in camp who looks like him.” At that exact moment that same person comes into the meeting room. (what a coinkidink!) and they find out that not only has the prince been alive this whole time, but the prince is really a princess. Um…what?
So Elen asks “Hey, didn’t I kill you?” That’s a very good question elen, how is she going to respond?
Oh, okay. Oh fine. That’s fine. So your answer to “Why isn’t this bitch dead?” is the equivalent of that Simpsons episode where Bart goes “Ralph, I thought you died!” and he responds with “Nope!” Good job Vanadis. You are now Ralph Wiggum.
Now that they have the princess/prince they need to prove to people that it’s really him/her. The only way to do this is to go to a city that’s occupied and open a secret door because…you know..why the fuck not.
Little do they know that the sabertooth bad guy is planning on attacking them when they arrive there with an army and FIVE DRAGONS! (sting music plays)
Wait. Who the fuck CARES if he has dragons? We already fucking KNOW that War maidens can kill dragons in one hit, so why in god’s name do you think i’d be invested? Answer. I’M FUCKING NOT.
And just so we can get even MORE generic, there’s an evil old guy literally in a dark room with figurines over a map smirking deviously saying “Good…all going according to plan…” What? You don’t believe me? You think even THEY wouldn’t sink that low?
BAM
If this whole series is some elaborate parody of the genre then I give these people massive props. Because there is no way , NO WAY this is supposed to be taken seriously. It can’t.
Mother of god the episode starts out with him randomly sleep molesting a war maiden. I swear to god i’m not even making that up.
If this really is meant to be taken seriously I have no respect for this writer…but of course you know this already.
So where the fuck was I? Oh yeah. the dragons that don’t matter.
But hey, at least Sabertooth KNOWS that the dragons are going to die. He’s using them as bait to surround the war maidens and kill them? Well that’ll be cool at least
Yeah. So they go and destroy the town that Tigre needs to go to. But fuck it they’re going there anyway. And then right off the bat Elen and Lourie kill 3 of the 5 dragons.
Thrilling isn’t it?
It’s then that they realize they can’t defeat the last 2 as the chains that are on them make their magic useless against them.
Oh wow. Is something going to happen? Is Elen going to die?
OH FUCK YOU. You’re telling me that after getting burned by a dragon she and lourie just said “Nope! Fuck this shit!” and ran away and the dragons were like “K, no big. Get outta here.”
See? THIS is what I mean by no consequences. They’re free to one shot dragons, but the SECOND they are in ANY danger they magically teleport them away and no bad things have to happen to Elen other than a mild burn.
During the break they figure out a way to beat the dragons. and then they do.
Ooh. but the war maidens are worn out now .How are they going to beat those 6000 soldiers that he’s sending after them? This should be interesting.
What the…THAT’S THE END OF THE FIGHTING? DASKLJRLADSFKJSLDSJFJ
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THE “Surround them with 6000 soldiers?! are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? You’re telling me that they’re going to IGNORE THAT?!
I FUCKING HATE THIS SHOW
Everything about this show is infuriating, frustrating, and painful.
Tigre continues to be his fucking super special snowflake self hitting every single person in the head on the first show not missing a single time. In fact, his bullshit Gary Stu powers are so important, TWO CHARACTERS are delegated to doing nothing but CARRYING HIS EXTRA ARROWS.
I have never met a character that is so broken and bullshit that he needs to use TWO people to be his bitch so that he can keep being a Gary Stu. This is disgusting.
The only thing that looked interesting was the fact that Elen was finally going to be overwhelmed in a battle. Who knows? Maybe she’d lose an arm and have to overcome that, or an eye, or even DIE or SOMETHING. But nope, aside from a slight burn she’s perfectly fucking fine.
I’m so glad I only have two more episodes of this shit. I really don’t know how much more I can take. I hate this show with every fiber of my being. Elen is a selfish bitch, Tigre is fucking infuriating, and everyone else in this series is in such a hurry to suck this guy off that it ruins any sort of interesting character development. As I said before, the best part of the series was when he was UNCONSCIOUS for half an episode.
There’s really nothing more to say. I hated this episode. Even more than usual. Fuck this show.
Episode 2/10
-Hideki