Yagate Kimi ni Naru Episode 12: Suddenly Suffocating

After the reveal we got in Bunny Girl, scenes here really parallel what’s happening in that show too and it kills me. PLEASE PROTECC KAEDE.

After this episode, I was able to let out a big “FINALLY!” I think Yuu is finally out of that damn Denial Zone and for once she’s being proactive. Maybe that’s what has been frustrating me. Nanami has always been the initiator in all of this and Yuu has always just let things happened, going with the flow. Koito is a sweet girl and she cares about Nanami but she’s been passive while also slowly realizing her feelings. While she’s a good person, I think I just was never sold on her character. Not love or hate, mostly indifferent with a tinge of “like”. But finally, after having her intimate conversation with Nanami and feeling frustrated herself, Koito is finally taking the initiative and changing the ending of the play with Koyomi in order to help Nanami love herself. I’m glad that Koito is actually doing something and wanting to help Nanami because after last episode, Nanami is kind of a mess.

The rehearsal in the very beginning of the episode was a great scene, and I actually had a hard time telling whether Nanami was following the script or saying whatever thoughts were in her head. Shoutout to her seiyuu as well, the emotion she brought to that scene was very moving.

As expected, Koito was jealous of Sayaka but Koito made herself heard as she told Nanami to keep up her end of the deal so they go to her house after camp and share intimate scenes and Nanami tells her what happened. We hardly ever get intimate scenes like these in anime so it’s really interesting watching these scenes. I’m so used to characters never holding hands, never kissing (until the end), never embracing, and watching these two do it is so weird. And what’s better is that this series handles these scenes very maturely. Just something to point out. Anyway, she has no idea who to become anymore. Her sister was seen one way by one person, and another way by another person. Though Koito is right by saying that it’s more or less the same thing with everyone. You show a certain part of yourself with one person, and can act another way to another person. I think everyone in life does that. Koito asks if she even needs to “become” someone and Nanami gets dark all of a sudden, reminiscent to how to acted by the river. There’s no point staying the way she is, be who she is, because she absolutely hates herself. And she does NOT want Koito to fall in love with her, because how she she love someone who loves the things she hates so much abou herself?


That was a big ouch moment, and Koito’s lips quivering was a nice touch in showing how she wanted to respond to that. She didn’t do that until later when she walked Nanami to the station, calling her an idiot for saying that she hates the things she loves. Which is her.

Koito can see that Nanami is an emotional mess right now, and from this moment she was able to see what was really wrong with the ending of the play. The main character decides to take on the personality her lover told her about, but Koito tells Koyomi that her decision is based on the past and that the whole timeframe of the play doesn’t even matter because the main character ends up to sticking with the past. What was the point of everything else then? Koito points out that instead of settling for one personality, that the main character should look at the time she spent in the hospital and decide for herself who she should be. There is no one option. Hopefully the student council agree with this change, and hopefully this change in the play will wake Nanami up and actually help her.

I was indifferent towards Koito for awhile but this moment changed things for me. Nanami herself I think I’m mostly indifferent too as well unfortunately. I do feel for her, I really do, but I really don’t like how selfish she is and how much she’s taking advantage of Koito. Don’t fall in love with me? You’ve been groping and kissing this girl and you don’t expect her to have some type of feeling for you? Maybe this is another aspect of the show that doesn’t sit well with me. These girls are perfect for each other and depend on each other, but their relationship from the start was unhealthy. I’m glad that Koito is in love now, but it’s unfair and hurtful for Nanami to tell her not to fall for her. It’s selfish of her to take advantage of her. So while I do feel for Nanami’s internal conflict, I still can’t say I totally like her.

Next week is the finale and I can’t feel myself changing by then. This romance has definitely been a unique one, and some moments in this show are beautiful, but I’ve always felt a little off about it and I think I can pinpoint why now. The show is fine, and I feel like I’m very much in the minority thinking this way. I hope we get to see the student council play in the finale because it’s sure to be a big moment.

Nanami-senpai really is a baka.


Unfortunately still a weeb

5 thoughts on “Yagate Kimi ni Naru Episode 12: Suddenly Suffocating

  1. Keep in mind that the “issue” you have with show, Yuu and Touko having an “unhealthy relationship” is the main conflict of the story. Without it, there would be no rising action within the plot. All the characters in the story has their own self-centered interests like real people. Touko has been very transparent with Yuu from the very start. This is what makes Yuu special to Touko. She can be herself with Yuu. Yuu could turn down Touko’s advances, but chooses not to because she herself has her own self-centered interests that only Touko can satisfy.

    Notice the chancing balance of power between Yuu and Touko. At the beginning, Yuu has more power in their relationship. Now, Touko has more of it. But that doesn’t mean Touko won’t try to hold herself back in fear of driving Yuu away from her.

    Reality/fact: the who person is more committed and dedicated to a romantic/intimate relationship holds less power and influence compared to the person who is less committed and dedicated to a romantic/intimate relationship. The fact that this holds true to this show and the manga is a testament of it’s narrative purpose.

    1. And I totally get that. I think my issue just boils down to our two leading ladies. I’m glad they have a close relationship and Yuu wants to help Nanami realize who she is and make her love herself, the romance and topics portrayed in this show are great, but I think for the most part I’ve just been indifferent to them so I don’t find myself REALLY getting into the show, even though I do like it. I find myself rooting for Sayaka more. ^^;

      I know I probably sound dumb but I’ve just been trying to understand myself when it comes to this show. Not trying to dampen the mood!

      1. I recently finished watching the final round of a debating tournament at my school when I made my first comment. My apologies if I took your claim too seriously. And pardon me for a few typos here the there. Using a phone here…

        At the end of the day though, we watch anime for entertainment, not to examine it like it’s some exept from Karl Marx. It explains why Bunny Girl is very popular and highly acclaimed. Though it is just a show that mainly satisfies the male psyche by presenting wishfulment and escapism through overcoming ostracism, negative peer-presure, low self-esteem, bullying, and disease.

        1. No no it’s fine, thinking about your comment helped me understand my feelings in all this.

          True, but as a blogger I always feel compelled to examine haha. And while Bunny Girl can seem like a wish-fulfillment show on the surface, I think there’s a lot more to it that also boosts its popularity.

          1. Seishun Buta is a show that satisfies the male psyche in the form of wish-fulfillment, and also offers explicit escapism through its use of it’s female cast. And it does it very well hence it’s popularity and acclaim. Just to be clear, that dosen’t mean it is bad show. I can concur that it’s probably the most entertaining show of the Fall 2018 season. Note that this show is NOT receiving the same acclaim and popularity in Japan however.

            And no, I am not looking at it in a shallow lens. On the contrary, I am looking at it through the lens of the author himself. Why, What, Where… is the purpose of his work. This is just automatic to me.

            But if you think that “there’s a lot more to it that also boosts its popularity” other than wish-fulfillment and escapism, please do share them.

            Merry X-mas Sawako.

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