Okay. Before I start with this review I’m going to be dead serious for a moment. I will be going on a giant tirade rant this review. If you do not want to read a gigantic angry rant and/or even remotely like Miia and/or would think of defending her, I would suggest not reading any further. This review will be mean. I haven’t felt the term “Angryanimebitch” this badly since Fall season with the end of Daitoshokan or Vanadis. If you’re still here, you have been warned. So let’s go.

The episode starts up with Smith taking the main dude on a date. Most of the girls are wondering about this and worrying about that he’s actually attracted to her and that he’s ‘cheating’ on them. First off, the mermaid chick dresses up to work in a maid cafe using Suu to help her walk (cause you know…she has the fish tail.) but of course Suu needs water so…you know..she does this.

Meh...not a catgirl maid like in Gate. Pass
Meh…not a catgirl maid like in Gate. Pass

Next up is Papi who, at an arcade dresses up in Cosplay to spy on them, however, once again, they use Suu, and this happens.

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“Can you Hear me now?” Get it? Cause the phone slid down into her….never mind

Yeah…. you kind of guess where this is going.

Then again, it happens with Miia and Cerea who dress up ice cream scoopers.

Miia sees them leave again so she runs after them. However, the clothes were being made by Suu and shared between the two of them..so when Miia runs away….

Yeah...that.

Yeah…that.

After Miia runs away she runs into Rachnera. (Oh thank god she finally shows up…how far into the episode? (checks) NINE MINUTES?! oh fuck you show.)

Rachnera is trying to get pictures of the main character with Smith she can use for blackmail. And..honestly, that’s kind of hilarious.

Seriously, could the whole series be just about Rachnera? Please?
Seriously, could the whole series be just about Rachnera? Please?

So they struggle as Miia’s like “He wouldn’t cheat on me! Stop Rachnera!” and they stumble into the room and find out that they’re just sitting there talking. Apparently it was all a ploy to draw out this guy who sent a death threat to the main dude if he married one of the girls. Since it didn’t work with Smith, she determines it must be one of the monster girls the perp doesn’t want him to marry. So she says that he has to try dating all the girls until they find out who it is.

Okay. That’s the end of part 1. And If you noticed, I didn’t throw a shit fit about part one. That is because Part one was the general normal stupidity that is this show. It is part 2 that makes me want to choke things. This really is the last chance to back out.

Here we go.

So first up we have Miia’s date. Oh dear sweet jesus help me this already sounds awful. So they decide to go to the aquarium. However, Mermaid chick gets taken along because she wants to go.

Little do we find out that apparently she is treated like a celebrity there as well..she’s..you know, a mermaid. And pretty sure that mermaids would get the royal treatment at aquariums in real life too.

It's like oscars...only with fish.
It’s like oscars…only with fish.

So the mermaid goes off giving them VIP passes and Miia and the main character go on a…….(sighs deeply) dating montage. And no, I will not show any screencaps of this because I try not to intentionally disgust myself.

Finally after a while they are about to kiss when the mermaid chick interrupts them by telling them random facts about fish.

I have NEVER been happier to see a mermaid IN MY LIFE
I have NEVER been happier to see a mermaid IN MY LIFE

They then go to watch the mermaid perform at the aquarium. Seeing how enraptured he’s getting by her though, Miia becomes a little bitch and leaves. She then sees what appears to be a lizard man and they start chatting about similarities they have.

Huh...I just realized something. I think that Cerea's the only one that wouldn't lay an egg. Suu doesn't count because...I don't know what the fuck SHE'D do anyway.
Huh…I just realized something. I think that Cerea’s the only one that wouldn’t lay an egg. Suu doesn’t count because…I don’t know what the fuck SHE’D do anyway.

And as they start chatting I realize that I actually do like these two as a couple. Lizard dude and Miia actually work. Now see. this is a segment that would work. I like this idea. Having a harem show where a girl who likes the main guy ends up falling in love with someone else. And not just a “oh until the other guy admits something.” No, what looks like the main girl actually falls in love with someone else and loses interest in the main guy. Not only would that be GREAT character development for everyone involved, it would be completely unexpected and it would change the dynamic of the show and lead to some AMAZING moments. But no. Of course not. This show has to be SO FUCKING BY THE BOOK it’s actually painful. So of course it looks like the guy’s trying to rape her. Because fuck having any other guy not be a fucking douchebag.

Sorry, Don't find Miia attractive. No George Takei here. move on.
Sorry, Don’t find Miia attractive. No George Takei here. move on.

I know i’m going to sound like the WORLD’S BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG here, but I don’t care. How the FUCK is this any different than what she does to the main character? On pretty much a daily basis she tries to rape the main character. Like….not even joking. There have been a shit ton of times early on the show when she pretty much tried to flat out rape him. However, because the faces were funny, it’s apparently to comedic effect. I hate the fact that I have to say this, but even in a harem show, rape is not cool, even when it’s the girl doing it. So now that the tables are turned, it’s somehow terrible that it’s happening to Miia? How does THAT work? And here’s my question. Will it change ANYTHING Miia will do in the future? NO! of course it won’t! Because she won’t find anything wrong with what she’s doing and will continue to be a fucking idiot. I have NO sympathy for Miia in this scene and I don’t give a shit what happens to her.

Miia is the kind of character that makes me hate anime sometimes. She does not evolve at all, she stays exactly the same when she first started in episode one. She has no arc. She has no character. The only thing she cares about is fucking this stupid motherfucking guy. She is supposed to be in Japan for cultural exchange as a representative of her entire race. But FUCK learning anything because she’s too busy trying to fuck the main character. Why did they even pick THIS bitch anyway? She obviously isn’t very intelligent, she didn’t do ANY studying about the culture before she came here, and is putting everything at risk because she wants a fucking dick. Granted the same argument could be made for Papi, but i’m letting her slide because she’s not a complete asshole and she actually seems interested in things other than dick.

There have been NO scenes with Miia showing ANYTHING other than her ‘love’ of the main character. She has gone so far as to try to injure and/or KILL the  mermaid girl because she was jealous, and was racist against Rachnera because she was jealous again. There is NOTHING good about this character. Every time I see her on screen I am absolutely disgusted. The fact that she is the ‘main’ girl makes me fucking hate her even more.

Yes, there ARE ways to make the main girl in a harem show endearing. Kanon anyone? When you make a characters SOLE trait to be in love with a guy, it makes them seem vapid and boring. Parallel to this, a girl who’s obsessed with Suna in Ore Monogatari has the trait of strong love, but is also a well written character. Unlike this bitch who If I said to you, “Without describing her actions or physical features, describe Miia” and I said you can’t say “In love” or “Jealous” I gotta tell you, you wouldn’t have a whole lot to say about her. She’s a FUCKING ASSHOLE. At this point, I am just so disgusted with this episode I don’t even know what to say. Before I could sort of tolerate her because she was in the background, but this episode made me want to fucking put her in a goddamn blender, tail first. And slowly.

Fucking christ I almost forgot the end of the episode. Because what a TRAVESTY THAT would have been.

The lizard guy is really a girl dragon and main guy saves Miia.

Sure. Why the fuck not. I don't care anymore.
Sure. Why the fuck not. I don’t care anymore.

It turns out that the dragon didn’t write the note. And they’re back to square one. End of episode.

I… am so mad right now I am turning red. The level of hate i have for Miia is Vanadis level. I  hate her. I hate her so much. There are ways to make characters that are full of themselves and yet be endearing. There’s one this season. Her name is fucking Konami from World Trigger.

I can’t believe Miia has been on screen for so much and developed so goddamn little. Let’s just say for example you took the main character romance aspect away. What would she do? What the fuck would do you do with her character? Exactly. Fucking nothing. A character cannot solely be defined by “they love somebody” People do not work that way. No one’s sole personality trait is “I love x.” If they are, then there’s something fucking wrong with them and you need to get as far away from them as physically possible. If Miia had the personality of ANY of the other girls, I would have been okay, but because they laud her as being “funny” and not “creepy” or “Horrible” as she should be, it disgusts me beyond belief. This archetype is what is wrong with harem shows. The “I only exist to want to be fucked by x”.

A girl has wanted to have sex with a guy for SEVENTY YEARS but we learn that if she loses him, she gets to move on because SHE’S A GOOD FUCKING CHARACTER.  Who am I talking about? Veronica from Archie. In “The Married Life” If he chooses Betty, Veronica moves the fuck on and still has great moments. Betty, not so much. Then again, fuck Betty. Yeah that’s right I’m a Veronica fan. Deals.

I just… I am so mad having watched this episode. It’s like staring at the reason of why harem shows aren’t as good as they could be. She is the personification of everything wrong with this genre. And I hate her for it. So fuck you Miia. Go fuck yourself and die.

Episode 1.5/10

-Hideki

List of girls

  1. Rachnera
  2. Smith
  3. Cerea
  4. Mermaid5. Papi
  5. Suu
    Miia is off the list forever.