So yes. Right off the bat I’m going to warn all of you. This review is going to spoil the crap out of the twist they’ve been building up to. From here on out, I’m just going to say, you have been warned. Anybody I didn’t even type the spoiler in the episode name as I was originally planning on because I realized I’m not an asshole. …Okay well I’m not an asshole about spoilers.

Last chance. Okay then, here we go.

So the episode starts up with the group leaving on the Sakura sisters private jet to go to Jey’s island for the final round of Dance Road.

These rich chicks are starting to piss me off. They have their own fucking pink private jet. That's insane. They're like 12.
These rich chicks are starting to piss me off. They have their own fucking pink private jet. That’s insane. They’re like 12.

So while on board, Momiji pops out and starts to tell everyone about how crowd high has been worrying her and how she needed to come with them to investigate it.

Haha. I love Kumo's "I don't give a shit" look
Haha. I love Kumo’s “I don’t give a shit” look

They soon arrive on the island and are greeted to what i’m assuming the writer wanted you to see as basically a utopia. I mean, it’s not like they were implying it or anything, it’s pretty much flat out shoved in your face


Even the tour guide is smiling and acting like it’s Disney World.

I have a strange feeling that guy's going to guide me right into a Hostel movie
I have a strange feeling that guy’s going to guide me right into a Hostel movie

So, excited, everyone goes to the main hall where they’re going to compete. It turns out that the final round has 12 teams left. It turns out that Dance Road is performed in a bunch of different regions all over the world, and Japan is just one of their stops. There are 26 ‘Masters’ and our Buddy Master T is just one of them.

However, now’s the time that the twist comes out. All right. So everyone wants to see Jey, and finally they get to. Jey pops out and……………..


Yep, that’s right. Jey’s a robot.

(Dramatic sting music)

Well….kind of a robot. Here’s how they explain.

The real Jey was badly injured in an attempt on his life a while ago and is in a coma. So in the meantime, this robot is taking over his place. Haneru’s all like “But what about when I saved him from that sniper way back like…15 episodes ago?” And apparently the gun that the guy was using was an EMP gun and would have revealed that the Jey on stage was actually a robot.

The reason they’re doing this is because they basically want to show how Jey is kind of immortal and keep his message of peace going as planned as if nothing ever happened to him as only a select few know he’s a robot.

Okay. Here’s my problem with this.

She basically states that everyone who’s ever gotten this far in any dance road knows about this. The people on the island all know about this. Apparently the sniper knew about this. If all these people seem to know about this, I’m pretty sure word would get out that this guy’s a robot. Somebody would leak it. And all they’d have to do to confirm it is make Jey hold a press conference and they could out him there. I’m pretty sure that him being a robot wouldn’t be as “secret” as you’d like to believe.

And while we’re on the topic, HE’S A FUCKING ROBOT. I mean…let’s look at this from a logical standpoint. YOU’VE PERFECTED A HUMANOID ROBOT. Apparently your robot is so good it can fool EVERYONE. Why is this not front page news? I’m pretty sure with the advent of ROBOTS you could do a lot more than just…oh, I don’t know MAKE A GUY DANCE. He is a perfect robotic humanoid that I’m sure could do a lot more good for humanity than dancing.

We thought it was in everyone's best interest to have the most sophisticated robot in the world dance a lot.
We thought it was in everyone’s best interest to have the most sophisticated robot in the world dance a lot.

Argh. Okay enough of that rant. The woman tells the groups that the winner of the tournament will be Jey’s ghost dancers and will upload their dance moves to him and if any of the groups aren’t cool with that, they can leave now.

Okay, I know it’s a big shock, but this is literally the fourth and final round of Dance Road, which, even getting into the first round is supposedly insanely difficult. There’s no way that ANYONE would –




FUCKING SERIOUSLY?! Two groups were just like “Well, we made it to the last round, but wait. HE’S A ROBOT?! FUCK THAT WE’RE OUT!” Really? That would be like if you made it to the playoffs of the world series only to find out that your bats will be made with granola and the balls will be made of cheese. Who the fuck cares? It’s like “Wow, i’ve worked so hard to get this far. Eh, but he’s a robot. This isn’t worth my time anymore.” I just…really?

And they’re like “Oh, this is not what I expected and it’s such a shock and wah wah wah” shut the fuck up. It’s not that big of a deal. Who really cares if he’s been replaced by a robot. He kind of came down with a bad case of ALMOST DEAD. What did you want them to do? Be like “Welp, Jey’s in a coma. Fuck everything. Okay everybody we’re wrapping up the world peace thing!” Get over yourselves. Really.

Anyway, after THAT rant, The group demands to see the real Jey and they see him floating in a Kolto tank from Star Wars.

Master T: "Now I know he doesn't LOOK injured, but trust me, he is."
Master T: “Now I know he doesn’t LOOK injured, but trust me, he is.”

Do…(shifts eyes) do Kolto tanks really exist? I..I don’t think they do. I think this right here is full of bullcrap. Seriously. This is a Kolto tank from Star Wars. What else is that liquid supposed to be?

Anyway, TCC then says how they’re going to keep dancing and stuff.

The next day the round is about to start, only for it to be interrupted by LuiMoe and Crowd High as they finally reveal that the evil looking guy was actually in fact, not very nice.

I don't think there's a way i could be less shocked if I tried.
I don’t think there’s a way i could be less shocked if I tried.

And that’s where the episode ends.

This episode…..well it finally answered the question we had for a long time. No that hasn’t really been Jey, but at the same time, no, he’s not really dead.

Okay, my first problem with this. Jey’s obviously hanging on by a thread. If a guy this high up knows Jey’s still alive and in a coma, why haven’t like…assassins that could have had HIS passcode finish the job? all they had to do was like…remove his breathing tube from the kolto tank or turn it off. Just saying…would have avoided a lot of trouble if you killed him first and THEN did this little stunt.

I’m just not digging how saccharinely sweet this island is. It’s so “Tee hee, everything’s amazing here and Jey’s the best!” Seriously, I Jey short for Jesus or something? Hey, then he would be “Lord of the Dance!” hahahaha ah…..that was terrible. I apologize. It’s just set up that he’s SUCH the good guy that it feels unreal. It feels like he’s not a real character with faults and just a martyr for his cause.

I think they’re thinking a tad too deeply into a show ABOUT DANCING. Did world peace and war REALLY need to be brought into a show about DANCING?

Did a show about dancing REALLY need an image of a starving baby?
Did a show about dancing REALLY need an image of a starving baby?

There seems to be no grey area with this show. It’s “Jey’s amazing” and Crowd High is evil. There’s really no room for argument in this show and it’s kind of irritating.

Sure the twist was…okay, but I still would have preferred Jey to either be dead or evil. This way they’ll be able to cop out later with Jey showing up miraculously coming out of his coma and going “Thanks Haneru” and then they can dance together or some bullshit. I’m telling you. It’s going to happen.

I could keep ranting about this episode but it’s going too long as it is. Honestly….the episode was….okay but it could have been much better especially with the idiots being all “Wah Jey’s a robot! wah!” Ah whatever. Fuck those guys.

Episode 5/10