God…watching this show is…for lack of a better word…depressing. It’s like watching a world slowly have all of the joy sucked out it so that something you once loved is nothing more than a hollow shell of what it used to be.

…Yeah that’s dark, but that’s the way this show is making me feel! It’s like someone took the original Nurse Witch Komugi and peeled away what made it interesting and just left the bare basics of what the show was about. In short…they missed the whole point.

The episode starts out with Koyori (aka the blue haired one) becoming increasingly nervous as things happen like her underwear goes missing, food goes missing, and she has the feeling that someone is watching her.

If this goes into "Perfect Blue" territory, i'm leaving
If this goes into “Perfect Blue” territory, i’m leaving

Eventually Koyori gets freaked out enough that she decides to tell her boss about it. The boss agrees that they should bump up security. She feels better and decides to go take a bath. Oh. by the way ANOTHER EASTER EGG!


Oh my god animation company. We get it. You also animated Yoru No Yatterman. Thank you. Stop referencing your better shows in your boring one. It doesn’t make it any better.

Anyway she flashes back to how her parents told her she always had to be the best. Wow. I don’t care.

Nope, too bored. Don't care
Nope, too bored. Don’t care

Then we cut back and she decides to sing her incredibly long, time wasting idol song that sounds mediocre at best that no one cares about with crappy CG. Yay. Can you tell how much this plot is exciting me?

We then learn that Koyori was the reason that Komugi became and idol in the first place.

Eventually we get an end to the stalker sideplot when we discover that it was a racoon mascot that wants her to be a magical girl as well.

Ah okay. So the stalker was a little furry thing....that's...better I guess? Maybe?
Ah okay. So the stalker was a little furry thing….that’s…better I guess? Maybe?

However, unlike Komugi, she has no qualms about it and immediately agrees. Fortuitously for them, that’s when a random monster appears that possesses a police car. Komugi tries to defeat it but immediately fails at it.

Her uselessness really DOES remind me of Sailor Moon
Her uselessness really DOES remind me of Sailor Moon

Koyori shows up (honestly, I don’t even know if her name IS Koyori in this version, but fuck it. her name was Koyori in the old OVA so i’m just going to keep calling her Koyori. I really don’t fucking care) and at first doesn’t want to fight, but then hits her head and turns into crazy Koyori and defeats it.

(sigh) you even took the charm out of crazy Koyori. Fuck you remake.
(sigh) you even took the charm out of crazy Koyori. Fuck you remake.

Oh yeah. and apparently the rabbit mascot and the racoon mascot have a rivalry going on because…why the fuck not. However, she bumps her head again and forgets all about it.

And just like the first episode, Komugi loses her chance to be on stage/tv because she was helping out.

…If it wasn’t funny the first time….WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY THE SECOND TIME?! Is this going to be like…a running joke or something? Haha! It’s funny because she keeps missing her scenes! No… that’s not funny. That’s fucking annoying and frustrating. Well, at least I can say that evokes SOME emotion..unlike…the rest of this show which…doesn’t really make me feel…anything?

I haven’t been so unmoved while watching a series since I saw Girlfriend last year. It’s so safe, so by the numbers that it’s actually kind of painful. Every single character is bland, interchangeable, and I honestly don’t even know who half of them are.

Seriously I...I have no idea who those two on the left are...and I don't care.
Seriously I…I have no idea who those two on the left are…and I don’t care.

There is nothing to say about this show. That’s why it takes me so long to write these reviews. I’m just sitting here…dumbfounded about how I have NOTHING to talk about. It’s a magical girl show. She collects cards by defeating monsters. That’s…about it. This isn’t the OVA from a decade ago that was a self referential parody. This isn’t fun. This isn’t interesting. It is just so bland, so boring that I honestly don’t even know what to say at this point. All I can say is, if you have NEVER seen a magical girl show before and don’t want to challenge yourself at all, then by all means, watch this show. But if you’re looking for ANYTHING fun or original….keep on looking. This is one of those shows where you’re like “Man…I could have read a book….or studied a language…or helped the homeless instead of watching this.” And that’s one of the worst sins a show can make. Being ungodly boring. Well…it’s been a year since Girlfriend. I guess i’m overdue. Hopefully next episode won’t be about finding homes for kittens…

Episode 4/10