Look, i’m normally not one for using violence to end a conflict, but Jesus Christ this is embarrassing. Like…the fact that this is even still a thing is just pathetic. First of all, if you were hoping to see an episode with Itami and the gang, well..you get to see them…for like… 30 seconds. The rest of it…nope. Too bad, fuck you . You have to watch the generic intro to every JRPG ever. Goddamn it this episode was stupid. (sigh) fine. fine. let’s just fucking do this.

So the episode starts up with Itami and the gang driving through a random place and there’s a fork to determine which way they can go. He uses a stick to randomly choose their direction.

ah, the old GOP vice presidential nomination method
ah, the old GOP vice presidential nomination method

By the way, I certainly hope you liked seeing the main characters, because you won’t see them again for the rest of the episode. Yep, fuck their story let’s discuss something that’s stupid for even happening in the first place.

Meanwhile in I don’t give a fuck land those people that are following the prince’s orders to arrest everyone they think is a traitor storm the house of that girl who is in love with the Japanese diplomat to arrest them. Then we have the most stereotypical scene from everything ever where the parents tell her “we’ll be right behind you!” and then of course they don’t and they die.

I am calling them "Stupid Dead Fucks" 1 and 2
I am calling them “Stupid Dead Fucks” 1 and 2

Wow…couldn’t have seen that coming from a mile away.

So here’s where the stupid happens for me. Japan almost had a peace treaty with these guys and then the new prince is like “duhhh let’s arrest people who want peace and NOT have peace!” Japan should be like “oh…oh really?” send some guys in and shoot the fuck out of the prince and his dudes. Just like…fucking end them. The series should be over in like 5 minutes but they keep trying to be diplomatic with a fucking dumb ass who couldn’t find the eraser end of a pencil.

So anyway, after the girl and a senator escape they run around town when they get the idea to go see the diplomat who she’s in love with. They run to get there with the douches hot on their trail. They make it to the Japanese Embassy, but they are refused entry by the Japanese diplomat guy. However that’s when the guys show up to take the two away, but when the girl cries out for the dude, he can’t just let her go and says that when she’s 16 he will marry her and they can’t have her.

hahah ah...it's like the ending of Usagi Drop
hahah ah…it’s like the ending of Usagi Drop

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume this guy’s about my age… yeah… yeah that’s a little creepy and weird there. Not gonna lie. I mean…if she were like… 16 and she needed to wait like.. 2 years to be 18 that would be one thing and she’s like…… 12 and she’ll marry him when she’s 16. Little bit nonkosherness going on right there. Oh Japan. You and your wacky age laws. You’re so silly.

Anyway, the episode ends with the princess’s guards and the douches attacking each other. the end.

Seriously. Fuck this episode. This whole rabbit girl overarching plot is stupid, and I think the show feels like they have to shoehorn her into scenes where she doesn’t need to be just to make her seem relevant.

Did you forget I was pulling the strings? Because I am! Why won't anyone pay attention to me?!? Please, SOMEONE be intimidated by me!! ......Anyone?
Did you forget I was pulling the strings? Because I am! Why won’t anyone pay attention to me?!? Please, SOMEONE be intimidated by me!! ……Anyone?

I’m not going to lie, once I saw that this episode wasn’t about Itami I kind of zoned out. As I said before. The people in charge of this kingdom are really really stupid. They think that ANYTHING they do will make them win. All they’re doing is pissing Japan off. Here’s the thing. If you settle things peacefully, you get to keep ruling and make some concessions. If you piss them off, they’re going to BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF YOU AND KILL ALL OF YOU. None of your stupid little backstabbing plans are going to help you. They have you insanely outgunned in every single way possible. If you ENJOY pissing these people off, then fine, go die. You’re all fucking idiots. This plot point shouldn’t exist. Japan should be like “oh, you’re locking up the propeace senators? Okay. Here’s the deal. Let them go, or we fucking blow you up. Cool? Cool.” This plot premise of trying to fight back is just giving me a headache.

They have dynamite, M-80's, tanks, and jet planes. ...you have a broom that turns into a spear. really? Fucking really?
They have dynamite, M-80’s, tanks, and jet planes. …you have a broom that turns into a spear. really? Fucking really?

At this point it’s like David and Goliath. ….only give Goliath an Uzi… and a rocket launcher… and full body armor including a helmet and visor. And replace David’s slingshot with an issue of Country Living.

I don’t know WHAT moral or story they were trying to tell here. The prince’s guys are assholes? Because I already knew that. Be careful about being nice to young girls or you might be forced to marry them so they don’t get arrested and killed? Because that’s a creepy moral. I just.. why? Why was this episode here. It didn’t need to be here, it didn’t give the main characters any additional character development, and it just succeeded in pissing me off as to why they can’t just end this farce already. Ugh. Fuck this episode. I’m done.

Episode 3/10


This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Nikolita

    +5 for the Usagi Drop reference. 😉
    (But still, ouch)

  2. Shiki

    Wow Usagi Drop reference >_>
    The closest thing to that which i can come up with would be probably something like “Drop that Bunny from the show” or “drop dead usagi”

  3. lord999

    Great post! There’s one other little problem where the Japanese are shooting themselves in the foot. The Kingdom has magic and divine intervention on their side, and Rory and Lelei are demotion agents. I agree, if the Japanese should stomp the Empire while they can, as if they keep dicking around, it’ll be a hell of a problem if any of the Empire actually bothers to work off their advantages. Still though, if Japan’s trying to do a impression of the USA’s Great Satan persona in the Americas (interfere to destabilize so that you do can do anything you want there), I can see why they’d let the kingdom screw itself over until there is no functional government. But yeah, this anime is an idiot plot.

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