So… I don’t know about everyone else, but I am an absolute mess. Like holy cow, I knew this series was going to make me cry, but we didn’t get to go thought the phases. It was just straight to the ugly cry. If it’s going to hit me in the feelings like this EVERY episode, I’m definitely not ready. I don’t even know if I have that many tears in me. But heck, this really means that the expectations I have for every upcoming episode is through the roof.
I know this episode is really just setting up the rest of the anime in helping us understand exactly who this immortal being is and how he became who he is, but they just did not hold back any punches did they? The first thing that gave me that twinge of sadness was when “Joaan” returned to his owner after two months. Because deep down I already knew that Joaan wasn’t going to come home. Part of me was hoping we’d reach the “You’re not really who I think you are, but we still have a bond nonetheless” between the two because I genuinely thought they were going to be a pair till the end. (I mean… arguably they were, weren’t they?). And there were some cute moments between the two, even just with the boy teaching “Joaan” how to eat so it was definitely possible. But unfortunately, you could definitely see the boy’s downfall coming from early on. I just didn’t want to see it. I wanted to hold onto hope just like he was and I think that really backfired on me.
I didn’t think too much of it, but I appreciated that the only speaking individuals in this episode were the narrator and the boy. And after a while, the concept of a narrator faded to the distance so it really was just the boy talking the entire time. That really packs a punch because we can see and hear just how alone he is in the village. He stayed behind while everyone packed up for paradise, and he was left to care for the elders and was eventually left alone as they all passed away. He loses his wolf companion for 2 months and finally has hope upon seeing his friend again. With nothing left in the village, why not go join the rest? And here’s a spot where I’m not too sure of the situation. Did he genuinely believe that the people from his village were still alive and made it to paradise? Or was he just telling himself that… and he eventually believed it? It’s by this point that I’m sure a lot of watchers whispered an ‘oh no’ as we could see the pain on the horizon. What happens if he doesn’t make it? What happens if he finds remains? But nevertheless, he kept on going and I just wanted him to be happy.
During the course of the journey, the boy was already not looking too great. His limbs were discolored and we didn’t really know how far he was able to go. But of course, he gets injured as well… and what an injury it is. Yeah, it’s not the most intense injury, but when your body already can’t keep up with you, that’s going to add another layer of danger to you. (And let’s not even talk about the fact that his injury matches the one that Joaan died from!!) I’m surprised he kept on going as long as he did. But then of course, he found the graves. And really that’s when the tears started for me and they did not stop until the end of the episode. His realization that he was the only one talking and having his hope come crashing to the ground hurt!! His selfish wish to return home has he hugged Joaan hurt!!!! And it just kept building from there!
The return to the village was absolutely devastating as the boy is sick, injured, and really can’t take care of himself. But… he is still holding onto his hope that he’ll make it. And that’s another thing that made me emotional! I couldn’t tell if he genuinely believed it, or if he was just telling that to himself. Either way, it’s painful! But the biggest kicker was when he made his way to the chair and said those final words to “Joaan”. It was that moment where even I couldn’t deny it anymore, they were really going to take it all the way home. When he walked out to see all the people, I could barely make it through a couple seconds without pausing because I was sobbing. He made it to paradise, but not in the way he was expecting. And thus, “Joaan” becomes the boy as he leaves his companion behind to start again.
This was a really intense start to an episode, but they really laid it all out there. And I didn’t even get a chance to talk about the soundtrack. It really just added on the emotions, building, and swelling. Ahhhhhhhhhh I really want this anime to be good. I just hope…. that I’m not a mess after every episode.
Possibility of Watching: Guaranteed (as long as I can see through my tears)
Possibility of Blogging: Moderately High!