;_______; Deep down I knew this was coming and yet I really… really didn’t want it to happen. But here we are, another episode, another bucket of tears shed. Throughout the episode they gave us glimmers of hope, just little moments where I thought Gugu wouldn’t meet the same fate as the unnamed boy or March, but boy am I going to lose it when I see his helmet on the mid episode card during the next episode. Gugu why!!
Backing up to the beginning of the episode, I’m glad that he didn’t perish immediately after falling off from the cliff. It would have been a perfect parallel to his injury but having him participate in this fight genuinely made the rest of the episode more emotional. He didn’t go down without a fight, and without him, Fushi probably wouldn’t have made it out either. I definitely agree with the statement that Fushi was a lot safer with him there (though… perhaps we would have gotten a much happier ending if he had headed the advice of his creator four years ago.) I was definitely lured into a false sense of security when Gugu claimed that they had one. Sure, I didn’t think the Nokkers were out for the count, but I really hoped that we would be able to escape with just some minor bumps and bruises.
But when they reappeared and absolutely crushed March’s body, that’s when things really started to get intense. With the lingering death flag over Gugu, I thought this was going to be it for him, but thankfully Rean still puts herself into dangerous positions and is at least able to save his life for now…. until a few moments later when the mansion comes crashing down and he ends up saving her life. And boy oh boy, that’s when I started to lose it. First, we see Fushi reappear after being obliterated and immediately you can tell that’s something is wrong. And it just snowballs from there – Fushi’s line of “This isn’t my pain” definitely raised the stress factor a whole lot. But then the transition to Rean and Gugu underneath the rubble… you can just feel that he’s running out of time and throughout the whole thing I was desperately hoping that he was going to hang in there.
The scene between Gugu and Rean as they were trapped under the mess was really touching. Arguably, there were much better circumstances for Gugu to confess his love for her, but hey this was certainly the next best time to do it. And throughout the whole thing, I had to stop myself from yelling, “you fool!! it’s okay to show weakness!! your arms are shaking!!”. Obviously if he did just give up, there would be at least two people to grieve, but man I was really hoping for a miracle. But to transition back to Fushi and watch him shift into Gugu? I’m not sure if that was my ultimate breaking point, but by then there was no point in holding back my tears. And on top of that, Fushi is in a state of denial with this development… and that just hurt so much more. Gugu is someone that Fushi has grown incredibly close to over the past four years, and arguably the one that Fushi would have trusted with his life. So, to have someone that he cared deeply for, and genuinely believed was the reason he was able to stay safe for so long die, that must have been heartbreaking.
Now, I will be honest, Gugu’s ghost scene didn’t hurt me as much as March’s did, but it was a different kind of pain. March’s had her desperately trying to convince Parona not to kill herself and had heightened emotions. Gugu on the other hand was started off with a little bit of joy in seeing that his injury was healed and he was surrounded by people he loved. But then… as he watched Fushi and his brother relay the news to Pioran and Boozeman, it all sets in. Seeing him give them a hug was genuinely heartbreaking. (And also, he wasn’t able to really make up with his brother before his death and yet his brother was still there for him in the end).
And you know what? I thought that was going to be the final nail in the coffin, but hoooo when Rean showed up and Fushi transformed into Gugu? That was another moment of pain! But having Fushi pretend like he was the one who died instead of Gugu felt like they shattered my heart and were now kicking around the pieces. I am, however, glad that Rean eventually picked up on it when she was alone in the field of flowers. I probably would have been more upset if she thought he was still alive and was waiting for him for years, but I’m glad that she understood by the end. Did it hurt? Absolutely, but I think it was a good way to close out the arc.
And so, I think all of my thoughts regarding this episode can simply be summed up as: GUGUUUUUUUUUUU ;___________; . I just wanted him to be happy, but at least now Gugu can be a big brother to March. Ahhhhhh I’m not ready to get attached to new characters, To Your Eternity, please spare me in this next arc!